have you ever wondered?

Matthew is 17 days old. I have been to the hospital every day. I have spent time holding him, caring for him, talking to him, reading to him and just watching him. In my eyes he is the most beautiful and perfect little boy. He is a blessing in my life and when I'm with him I feel more complete.

As I have spent time with him I have also had a lot of time to think. One day I was telling him about his other family members. I started with my siblings and then my husbands. One of my brothers and his wife were expecting a baby at the time, a little girl who they were naming Dresden Adele. I told Matthew about Dresden, and asked him if he remembered her. He got the cutest little smile on his face.

One thought that has come up more than once in the past two and a half weeks is, "What did he do before he was born?" I believe that before we were born we existed as spirits. I think that during that time we were able to communicate with each other and developed relationships with people. Most definitely with our family members and close friends. Sometimes there is someone that you just connect with, and you can't really explain it. I think that goes back to the time before we were born.

Matthew is named after his dad and his grandpa, who passed away when my husband was 13. I think that Matthew was able to get to know his grandpa better than any of us here on earth. There is also my Aunt Mary, Grandma Hoffman, Grandpa and Grandma Kirbey, Grandpa Cox, Grandpa John and many others that my little boy was able to learn from and get to know.

Have you ever wondered what babies dream about? I think they're learning. I think that is time that our Heavenly Father uses to teach them the things that they will need to know to succeed in life. I'm not talking about financial or worldly success, but the ability to overcome trials. To rise above the bad and negative that is so prevalent in the world today and see the good.

It can sometimes be pointless to ponder these things because we won't ever know the answer. All of this is speculation and personal belief. Just because I believe something doesn't mean that other people are going to, but hopefully they will respect it. And maybe, it will help them to see things in a different light, to think outside the box and push their limits.