introspection

There are some things in life you just won't be 100% prepared for.

Public speaking, moving to a new place, marriage, driving in a new city, a new job, a new baby...just to name a few. My point is that no matter how much you read, practice, study, or research, something unexpected will come up.

When I first spoke in public I was terrified, I'm pretty sure I sped through my speech and thought I was going to throw up. Moving to a new place is always an anxiety causing experience for me. Marriage has been an eye opening experience, to go from being selfish and only thinking about me to wanting and needing to think about someone else. Driving in a new city you start by following the posted speed limit...until you realize that everyone else is going at least 10 mph faster than you. New jobs are always exciting, that is until you realize someone else on the team applied for the position you now have. And then there's the baby...

I started going through all the baby clothes we've received tonight. And it hit me, in not too long of a time I will have given birth and have a baby. A little boy who is completely reliant on myself and my husband for everything. He won't be able to feed, bathe, clothe, change, or even roll himself over for some time. It also struck me how much my Heavenly Father trusts me to allow this little baby boy to come into my life. He trusts me to take care of him and teach him what he needs to know to succeed in life. I pray that I will live up to that trust, that both my Heavenly Father and my little boy are looking down on me with smiles on their faces.

I am far from perfect, when thinking about this new chapter of my life I am even more aware of my inadequacies. But I know that with the Lord's help I will be successful and be able to do the things that matter. I will be able to look at a situation and determine what is good, better, and best and then go do what is best. I know that I will have off days, and then I'll wake up the next morning and try to do better.

Babies don't come with an owners manual. Marriages don't come with a "what-not-to-do list". Everything we do in life is a series of choices, and the consequences of those choices. Life is a series of tests, trials and learning experiences. I can choose to learn from the rough days, or I can choose to allow them to drag me down into thinking I'll never be a good person. There is no way to be completely ready for any situation. The important thing is our attitude about it and how we handle what curve-balls are thrown at us.