life changes in an instant pt 3

So now we get to the fun part, recovery. My husband was unable to spend the entire time with me at the hospital, due to the fact that we have 3 other kids, and he has a business to run. (Thank goodness that both of us have jobs that are flexible!) He would make a point of coming to see baby Matthew and I every day though. Aside from my husband I had a few visitors and lots of people checking to see how I was doing. I have to say that I love my church, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is set up so that members look out for one another. I had at least 10 people either visit or call/text to see how I was.

The first day or so I just wanted to sleep, I was so tired. Unfortunately the medication I was on required them to continue to check on me every hour. This made for a lot of interrupted sleep. I was unable to go visit baby Matthew on my own. I wasn't steady enough to walk yet, that took me until the day after the surgery, and even then it was very slow, small steps. The first time I went to the NICU a nurse followed me with a wheelchair. I was very content to just hold my baby. I just wanted to love on him. He was so very precious, the one thing I wish was different was me not being able to hold him immediately after delivery. I wanted that time to connect and bond with him.

He clasps his hands together like this all the time.

Every day I went down multiple times to hold him. I got to change diapers, feed him (or at least try too, he's still figuring out the bottle) and really just love on him. The only problem was that I was exhausted! Every time I would hold him I would start to fall asleep, needless to say he's a very comfortable cuddle buddy.

They were still checking my blood pressure throughout the day. It was not stabilizing like they wanted it too. I ended up being in the hospital for a total of 5 days. They sent me home with a blood pressure medication and all sorts of limitations because of the surgery.

I now get to go see my baby every day in the NICU. I have good days and hard days. It is hard to leave him. I am a brand new mom, and for some reason trusting someone who's been a nurse for almost 30 years to take care of my baby is hard. I know though that he is in the best place. OHSU is known for their work, and Doernbechers Children's Hospital is nationally renowned. I have to remember that he is in charge of when he comes home. When he is ready he will eat from a bottle and nurse. When he's ready he will gain more weight. And in the meantime, I will get to love on him every day, as much as I can.