life changes in an instant pt 2

Matthew Steven Veil 02.19.2014 4:43am 4 lbs 6 oz 17 3/4"

Once I get in the operating room they numb me up. It is a weird sensation to feel everything from the chest down slowly lose feeling. They strap me down and put up the shield in front of my face. I'm going from hot to cold and back again, I'm feeling nauseous, but thank goodness my wonderful husband is there to hold my hand and be with me. I can only feel the pressure as they work through the surgery. Even though I was numb, the amount of pressure when the pushed on my stomach to get the baby out was intense. I can only imagine how much a vaginal delivery would hurt. Once the baby was out I heard the most beautiful sound, his cry. He could breathe on his own! Being 5 1/2 weeks early, I had been worried about that, I knew it would lengthen his time in the hospital if he couldn't. I was able to see him really quickly before they took him away to clean him up and make sure everything else was working okay.

My husband was able to go see him, but couldn't hold him right away. They put an IV in him and had monitors for his heart rate, respiratory rate, oxygen intake and all the other little checks they do. Meanwhile I'm being sewn up, this was probably the most uncomfortable part. Once they finish that I am wheeled into a recovery room where I spend the next 1 1/2 to 2 hours waiting for my body to regain feeling. For the first 30 minutes or so I was shaking uncontrollably. I was told this was due to the shock of the surgery.  I was so thirsty and starving! I think it was around 6:30 when they finally let me have ice chips, my husband spoon fed them too me since I couldn't move anything. :) They had this amazing gown that could have warm or cold air blown through it, I was cold and this was a God send.

They finally get me up to a room, and on the way I was able to see my handsome prince. They wheeled my bed past his incubator (we made quite a pair at this point) and I could barely touch his hand. He was hooked up to so many monitors, it just about broke my heart. After that they get me to my room and get me settled. I finally have feeling in my legs, but I am super groggy and quite drugged. They are still checking my blood pressure every hour, as well as my temperature and oxygen intake. This means that a CNA would come in every hour to personally check, talk about not being able to sleep. At this point I think I had been up for 29 hours, while my husband had been up for around 32 hours. Thank goodness my husband was able to fall asleep for a little bit.

I wasn't able to hold baby Matthew until he was 14 hours old, and it was only for about 15 minutes. They had to have a nurse take me in a wheelchair, I had an IV, and Matthew was hooked up to all his things. I cried, I was unable to help my baby, and it was the worst feeling ever. My body hadn't been strong enough to protect and care for him in utero, and now that he was born I couldn't even go see him on my own.
He was beautiful, and so very small. He was perfect, and he won my heart from the first moment I touched his little hand. I don't know how it works, but I fell in love with him in a moment. I would have gone through it all over again, just to bring him into the world.