families are forever

I have a 30-45 minute commute to work, 5 days a week. This means I have a lot of time to think, listen to the radio, or listen to audio books. Lately I have been doing the latter. I LOVE books, which makes sense since I manage a bookstore. :) I read all genre's, but I love mystery and suspense. Some of these books involve situations where a child is kidnapped, or someone is murdered.

This has caused me to think a little bit more about my family and what/how much they mean to me. I love my husband; he is a good man who works hard and protects his family. And even though the kids that I call mine are not ones that I gave birth to, I love them more than anything else in my life.

I was raised in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I was taught as a child that families can be together forever, not just "until death do us part". This happens in temples that are all over the world. My husband and I are waiting to be sealed in the temple until we can have all three kids there with us.

This temple in Portland, OR is 5 minutes from my store.

Knowing that I and my family are working towards this goal of an eternal family helps me, but it also causes me to think about the choices I make. I need to make sure I make choices that will keep me and my family safe.

My parents were sealed in the Salt Lake City, UT temple. I will forever be connected to my parents and my siblings, my nieces and nephews and the rest of my family. That knowledge offers comfort and strength to help me get through each day. Life is hard, and scary and it can end in a moment. If something were to happen to one of my family members I KNOW without a shadow of a doubt that I would see them again.

I love my family with all my heart. Jack, Emma, Eva and my husband are my world. They push me to do better and be better. They motivate me to work 10 hours a day at work and come home to make dinner, do laundry, clean and everything else that needs to be done. I do all of that because I love them.

If you would like to know more about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints you can visit one of the following links:
www.lds.org
www.mormon.org

the funny side of motherhood

We all have those days where we want to lock ourselves in the bathroom with a truck load of chocolate. (I hope it's not just me..) But we also have those days where we remember that "kids say the funniest things".

Last Tuesday Jack woke up and I told him he could watch a movie while I got breakfast ready. I heard the girls' door open and saw Emma coming out. I went over and asked her what she wanted. (I'll be the first to admit that I tease my kids sometimes.) She said that she wanted to watch the movie with Jack. I asked her who told her that Jack was watching a movie and she says, "My brain." I couldn't help but laugh, she said it with such a straight face and it was so sincere. Needless to say she came out and watched the movie.

Last Friday I had just gotten home from work and was starting dinner. The kids were supposed to be cleaning up their toys outside. I went out there to see how they were doing when I noticed a small spiderweb on the deck railing. I called the kids over and pointed it out to them. I wanted them to appreciate the beauty of it while also respecting the work that was put in to it. (That may sound silly to some people...but oh well. I only have that respect for bugs when they're outside. Once they enter my house, their minutes are numbered.) When we headed inside a few minutes later Eva was standing by the spiderweb looking at it. I called her in and she said to the spider, "Bye spider, see you 'morrow!" It was cute.

And then there's Jack. He is a quite boy, who also spends a lot of time playing by himself because, let's face it, what 8 year old wants to play with his 5 and 3 year old sisters? Yesterday we were in the car and somehow we started talking about evil laughs. I look back at Jack and he lets out this maniacal laugh. I'm not sure if I should be comforted by that or worried.

Kids are funny. They do, say, think, and act silly. For instance, today at church Eva shook her Dad's hand before leaving for class. So very random, but so very cute.

If you're looking for more funny or inspirational stories, check out these blogs:
http://kari-on.com/
http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/847751/funniest-mom-blogs
http://thepioneerwoman.com/

Try to look on the bright side...and see the humor in the crazy-hair pulling-oatmeal covered moments. :)

breakfast for dinner

Today I made a breakfast casserole for dinner. (If that doesn't sound like an oxymoron, I don't know what does.)

EVERYONE liked it. That's what I got really excited about. I remember my mom saying how hard it was to find a meal that everyone would enjoy. I now know how she felt. :) Bless mothers, they put up with so much.
Here is the recipe I used if anyone is interested.

Original recipe makes 12 servings        

Makes servings USMetricAdjust Recipe (Help)

1 (1 pound) package bacon, diced                                                                     

1 sweet onion, chopped                                                                     

6 eggs, lightly beaten                                                                     

4 cups frozen Southern-style hash brown potatoes, thawed                                                                     

2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese                                                                     

1 1/2 cups small curd cottage cheese

1 1/4 cups shredded Swiss cheese

1 cup chopped green bell pepper, or to taste (optional)

1 (4 ounce) can chopped green chilies, or to taste (optional)                        

Directions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
2. Cook and stir bacon and onion in a skillet over medium heat until the bacon is crisp, 10 to 15 minutes. Drain grease, reserving the drippings.
3. Grease a 9x13-inch baking dish with the reserved bacon grease.
4. Combine the cooked bacon and onion, eggs, hash brown potatoes, Cheddar cheese, cottage cheese, Swiss cheese, bell pepper, and green chilies in the prepared baking dish; stir to combine.
5. Bake in preheated oven until the eggs are set firm, 35 to 40 minutes.
6. Let casserole cool 10 minutes before cutting to serve.

I found the recipe on www.allrecipes.com. I've used this site before, you can post reviews and rate the recipes. That's what I really like about it. I modified it a little, but I'm sure if you follow the recipe exactly it will taste amazing.

bedtime stories

Do parents ever catch up on sleep? I feel like I'm ALWAYS tired. Even if I get a full 8 hours of sleep for an entire week, I'm exhausted by noon.

Eva is usually the first one up, and will come into our room saying "Good Morning!" She has yet to understand the meaning of the word "quiet" and will quite often run around the house screaming at 6:30 in the morning. Neither myself nor my husband are morning people. When I open at work I wake up at 5:30am. Not my idea of fun.

And then there's the struggle of actually getting the kids to go to sleep. No matter how many times I ask them if they need to go to the bathroom, or if they need a drink, they still come out. Maybe you've experienced this;
1. I need a drink.
2. I need to go to the bathroom.
3. I need to tell you something.
4. I want a hug/kiss.
5. I can't sleep. (Yes...I've had them say this. It sounds insensitive to say "no duh" to a 5 year old. Even though sometimes I think it...)
6. I want a song/story.
7. I'm scared of the dark.
8. It's too cold/hot.
I could go on, they have a never ending supply of reasons why they shouldn't be sleeping.

Last night Eva fell asleep first, which is unusual. She is usually the one that comes out multiple times. Last night it was Emma's turn for that. Around the 4th time she came out, she was crying, saying that she couldn't sleep. I told her to go lay down on her bed and think of her favorite church songs, or a favorite princess, or a favorite story. That finally worked and she fell asleep.

Then there's the positions they sleep in. Eva will fall asleep with her face in her pillow, her knees under her with her butt in the air. (I for one don't know how that can be comfortable.) Emma sprawls all over the bed, she practically sleeps spread eagle. Jack usually sleeps on his stomach, usually with his head hanging off the bed.

Even with the lack of sleep, they make me smile. Some days it happens more than others though. :)

If you are looking for a good book to read to your kids (or to entertain yourself) here is a great blog post that lists popular books for specific ages. Snogging on Sunday - Professor Says

happy birthday america!

Yesterday was the 4th of July/Independence Day/America's Birthday.

It was a wonderful day spent with my family. The weather was beautiful, not too hot or cold. The kids got to play outside, watched The Sandlot (an American favorite), ate lots of food. A good time was had by all.

The kids right after getting dressed...before the festivities!

 My husband is on the board of directors for a nonprofit organization called SHEDCo. They are based in Saint Helens, OR and are primarily focused on improving the economy. He was able to help out with their first annual 4th of July Festival that they organized and sponsored yesterday. They had a pancake breakfast, raising of the flag, the National Guard was present, vintage cars, face painters, balloon artiste's, vendors, bands. It was very nicely put together for the first one. He participated in that in the morning and when he came home before lunch time, I was making cookies and getting things ready for our dinner that night.

His sister came over around lunch time, the kids were ecstatic! They love seeing their Aunt Meghan! She is a lot of fun and I'm very glad that she and I get along and have fun together. She did puzzles with the kids, read to them, watched a movie with them, and helped us out when we went to the 4th of July Festival.

First we went to the balloon artiste's. (Which were free!) Jack wanted a pirate hat and sword, Emma wanted flowers, and Eva wanted a princess crown.

Captain Jack

Flower girl Emma

Princess Eva

 After getting balloons for the kids we walked around and looked at the vendors. The kids were great! The did such a good job with walking and the sun (even though it wasn't too warm out) and all the people. They stayed close to their Dad, me or Aunt Meghan the whole time. They got to play at the playground, and eat kettle corn and share an elephant ear. (If you ask for my opinion the food is the best part of these things!)

After spending about 2 1/2 hours at the Festival we went home. Uncle Matt showed up just in time for dinner. We had so much food! hamburgers, hot dogs, potato salad, jello, and then pie and ice cream for dessert. We watched The Sandlot afterwards and then lit off fireworks. We didn't have an impressive show, but the kids were amazed just the same. They had that star struck look in their eyes. It was great to see and be a part of. When that was done and we were heading inside to go to bed, Eva yelled, "Happy Birthday America!" I love my little girl. :)

I LOVE my family. I'm grateful to be blessed to live in a country where I can have a family, where I can raise my kids how I see fit. Where I can teach them about God, and truth, right and wrong, freedom, religion, and so many other things. I believe that the founding fathers of this country were inspired by God. Our paper currency says, "In God we trust" on it. I grew up saying the Pledge of Allegiance in school. I was raised knowing that I lived in a blessed country. I am thankful for the men and women who have fought, and continue to fight, so that other people might enjoy the freedoms I enjoy on a daily basis. I am PROUD to be an American!

giggles with eva

I love the times when I am able to play with the kids. It usually involves me chasing them around and tickling them. I LOVE hearing Eva giggle. It almost always makes me smile.

Today Eva was crawling around on the floor, using only her hands to pull herself forward, like a little 3 year old army crawl. I picked her up and tossed her onto our big lounge chair...she loved it. We did this a couple times and then I started chasing her around.

She's started going, "Hey Mom, look at this..." and will say it over and over until I say something. She makes me smile.

shock & awe

Today is Saturday. Every other Saturday is a visitation day for the kids, this just happens to be the "other" Saturday. I didn't get home until she was leaving. The girls had painted nails, Emma had curled hair and make-up on, and Eva had new jewelry. Jack got nothing. She is the "fun" mom, while I receive the joy of being the one to teach, scold, cook, clean, and train them. It is a joy...but they have a skewed view of what a mother does and is; so sometimes when I reprimand or correct them they have a hard time with it.

Their birth mother (that's what Emma has been calling her, it's kind of sad) does not realize how much psychological and emotional damage she has inflicted on them. I'm constantly having to wonder if the way they're reacting is because of something they've experienced before. I can't comprehend the full scope of the hurt they've endured, and it breaks my heart to think about.

With how drastically my life has changed in the past year, it's no wonder that I sometimes get a little emotional. (At least that's what I'm telling myself.) I am realizing that I really miss my friends. I have no one close by that I can just talk to, about anything and nothing. At work I have employees who would love to buddy up to me, but that's inappropriate in my position. At home I have my wonderful husband who listens and puts up with a lot, but sometimes I need someone who isn't so wrapped up in me. Who can be an impartial listener and not always try to fix things. :) I sure do love him.

Here are some helpful resources for beginning the journey of a step-family, dealing with an ex, and other "fun" things:
Helpful Strategies to Deal With Ex-Partners in Remarriage 
Managing Stress in Step-Families
Developing Strengths in Step-Families
Focus on the Family: Blended Families

summer woes...oh me, oh my

Summer break...should be a fun time for a family.

My husband works full time (plus some...), I work full time (plus some...), we have 3 busy kids, then there is the housework, and the bills, and everything else. We have tried planning a vacation at least 3 times in the 3 months we have been married. First it was to Utah to see my brother and his family (that was vetoed because of the small car we have. 5 people in a 5 seater car for 12 hours did not sound enjoyable to either my husband or myself), then it was to Seattle to see my sister and her family (that was more a time/financial restraint), then to Medford to see my husbands Grandma (that is not going to happen because of issues at my work).

I feel bad for the kids, when I am home with them, I'm trying to get the housework done and plan meals and everything else. So my patience is not what it should be with them. They are SOOO patient with me though, no matter how many times I get frustrated and raise my voice, they always forgive me and love me no matter what.

We are trying to get Jack into Cub Scouts, he is very excited about it. Emma is more excited to start school in the fall than she is for Summer. Eva just goes along with each day. They are great kids, even though in many ways they try my patience, they remind me that there are more important things than work and making sure the floors are clean. Coloring with Emma, or reading books to them, watching Eva play with her princess dress, listening to Jack as he builds with Lego's and talks to himself...THAT is what matters. Those quiet moments when I can really see them for the cute little individuals that they are, and not just as "the kids".

Jack is such a big help to his dad. He will go out and work in the yard with him for hours without complaining. He loves to be the big brother and loves to spend time with his dad.

Emma is a smart beautiful little girl. She mimics me all the time, if I sit with my legs crossed, she will. If I do my hair a certain way, she wants hers done that way. She is a good reminder that I constantly need to watch what I say and do so that I continue to set a good example for her.

Eva is mischievous. She is incredibly smart. She loves to help me. If I am in the kitchen, she wants to help. If I am doing laundry, she wants to help. She will also follow me everywhere. (Which does get old.)

I guess my point with this post is that even if we don't get a "real" vacation, as long as I can remember, and help my husband remember the important things, then we will have a good Summer.

Here's hoping... :)

Here are some links that have good ideas for Summer activities; http://spoonful.com/summer
http://www.examiner.com/article/5-simple-free-and-fun-summer-activities-for-young-kids
 http://holidays.kaboose.com/summer/

swimming with piranhas

The kids' mom came over yesterday for visitation. As soon as she drove up I got nervous. My hands were shaking, my heart was beating fast and my appetite went away. My husband went out and said hello. When he told her that I was there, she refused to walk through the house to the back yard. I don't mind her not coming through the house, but where did she think I was going to be? It's my house.

As soon as Eva saw her she yelled "Mommy!" and ran outside. This hurt a lot more than I thought it would. She refused to come in when the kids ate dinner, so we cycled through them by doing one on one time. I will admit that I eavesdropped on her conversations with the kids. Matt spent most of the visit outside with her and the kids. I wasn't going to force my presence on her, knowing that she doesn't want to be around me, so I stayed inside.

I was going to meet her though. I've been taking care of her kids for 4 months! Any sane mother would have insisted on meeting the new wife as soon as possible...which just goes to show that she's not sane.

At the end of her visit she came in and introduced herself. She tried to make small talk, and said she wants to go to lunch, or at least spend an hour together, to get to know each other. The only thing I could think of is that I would rather swim with piranhas...and I don't swim.

how to teach a 3 yr old to express themselves...through words

Hopefully I'm not the only one that's experienced this; Eva is 3, and the youngest. Her older siblings LOVE to tell me what she's saying. This is to be expected though. Not only because she's the youngest, and in my experience most older siblings love to talk "for" their younger siblings, but my husband was a single father for 3 years, and had to rely on our oldest, Jack, to help him know what was happening. So if someone gets hurt, Jack is right there telling us what's going on. I am, however, trying to encourage Eva to actually talk for herself. Her vocabulary has grown by leaps and bounds just since my husband and I got married.

If she gets hurts...she will sit there and cry. I can tell that there's nothing seriously wrong, so I don't go rushing over there. Maybe this sounds insensitive to some people, but if I spent all day running at their every beck and call I would accomplish nothing. So I tell her, you need to calm down and tell me what happened. She usually doesn't, so I ask her to go sit on her bed until she can talk. Literally 30 seconds later she's out playing and just fine.

If she is frustrated...she starts crying or whining. We're working on her changing her own clothes, she can put them on just fine, but sometimes she has a hard time taking them off. So I've tried to encourage her by saying, "You are a big girl and you can do this." She's done much better at this.

My point in all this rambling is to say it's hard to teach them to do something. Sometimes it's so much easier to just do it yourself.

Not only are we dealing with Eva and encouraging her to express herself through words and not crying/whining. (I'm not against crying, trust me, I've done plenty of it myself lately.) All of them are old enough that they can do chores. I have Jack and Emma fold their own clothes and put them away, Eva helps me put hers away. But when it comes to consistently having them do other things, it's SOOO much easier for me to just do it. I know I need to stop that, otherwise I'll be hindering them from learning responsibility and basics of taking care of yourself, not to mention being part of a family means that you work together to accomplish what needs to be done.

I did not realize how easy I had it when I was a kid. Bless my parents for putting up with me...and my 6 siblings. :)